Anko is the Best Terrible Influence
by Desbelleschoses
Summary: After a few hard days, Tenzo invites Anko over for company when she returns from a mission. As his best friend, Anko makes it her mission to cheer him up. The pair end up learning a rather unique skillset that Tenzo doesn't want to share with Kakashi. Part 7 of Unofficial Rulebook for Reckless Ninja series.


"I guess there's no point in asking you not to snoop through my stuff," Tenzo sighed, resigned to his fate.

"Nope." Anko was nosing through the books on the solitary shelf, which hung from the wall. Wooden bookends kept them in place. Most of them were books on architecture, but one or two were fiction. Nothing interesting. "Why? You got something to hide?"

"No," he replied flatly. "It's not like I keep anything from you."

He had a point. At least, she thought he did. If he really _was_ keeping something from her, well, she wouldn't know, would she? She wasn't looking for evidence or anything. She was just nosy. Thankfully, Tenzo accepted this quality with no more than an eye roll.

"I know," Anko smiled. "And I love you for it."

"Yeah, yeah." Tenzo took a seat on his floor, his back leaning against the wall as he made himself comfortable. "So…" he began, not entirely sure how to broach the subject. "Any luck?"

Anko frowned, placing her hands on her hips before turning around. "No," she admitted. "The trail went cold as soon as he passed through Ame. There's no point in looking for him until we catch a new trail; he's lost us for now."

"Damn," he swore, clenching a fist that she couldn't see.

"Tell me about it." She crossed the room and sat down beside him, taking the beer out of his hands and helping herself to it. As she passed it back, she added, "But I don't want to talk about that asshole, and I don't think you do, either."

"Not really," he admitted, smiling softly when she bumped her shoulder against his. He bumped her back, starting a back-and-forth that continued until she shoved him hard enough to make him sway, but not enough to knock him over. It was better if they didn't dwell on the past, even if it kept trying to rear its ugly head at every turn.

"Thanks for coming over."

"Any time." Anko shifted down and put her head on his shoulder. "You know that."

"Yeah, I know," Tenzo huffed despite his gratitude. "It's just been a rough couple of days." He reached up and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

She was almost afraid to ask the question that had been on her mind since she got his message. It might set him off, but it was a risk she had to take. "Is everything okay with Kakashi?"

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, no, not that," he assured her. "He's off on assignment for the hokage."

"Without you?"

Tenzo shrugged. Even though he was Kakashi's right-hand-man, there were some missions that weren't suited to their pair. "Yuugao went with him. Lord Hiruzen requested her, but I'm not sure why. I won't get any details until they return. You know how it is."

Anko pursed her lips, knowing very well what he meant. The ANBU didn't give out any unnecessary information; she doubted Tenzo even knew when Kakashi was expected to return. Trying to lighten the mood, she joked, "Good. It's about damned time he let me have some time with my best friend."

"He's not _letting_ us do anything," he protested, resenting the insinuation that Kakashi could decide what he could and could not do.

"Let me rephrase: he's detached himself from your hip long enough that I can come over without him trying to whisk you out the window."

Despite himself, Tenzo snorted at her statement. He knew that he spent most of his free time with Kakashi, and that he'd been letting his friendship with Anko slip just a bit. She never pressured him, and she never mocked him further than a gentle joke, but he knew that she cherished their time together as much as he did. She was just astute enough to know that what Kakashi could give him was more than she could, even if they held distinct positions for him.

"You know you're not a backup," he argued, just to make sure.

"Yeah, I know. If anything, he's _my_ backup." She grinned up at him from his shoulder. "I mean, let's be real. I'm leagues above Hatake. He can't even touch me. That's why he monopolizes you; he's jealous. I mean, what if I make you bisexual?" She did her best to keep her tone serious, but she faltered at the end, unable to hold her laughter at her own joke.

Tenzo chuckled, shaking his head as he looked down at his lap. "You'll be the first to know," he promised her, well aware of the improbability.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" Anko asked, shifting her position so that she was facing him as she sat on the floor. "I came prepared for anything. I've got movies. I've got music. I've got pajamas, clubbing clothes, and jeans and a tee shirt. And that doesn't even scratch the surface." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the full gym bag she'd brought with her.

"Are you moving in?" he asked with a sarcastic smirk.

"Only if you want me to." Her mock seriousness almost fooled him. Almost.

"I just need to be distracted. Get out of my head, you know?"

Anko grinned. "I can help with that. But I need you to be willing to do whatever I tell you."

"That's a bad idea." He narrowed his large eyes in suspicion.

"It's a great idea," she beamed. "Come on, it's not like I'm going to set you up with some guy or get you arrested."

Her moral compass was, clearly, skewed; it was nothing he didn't know, but he couldn't help but be wary. "I know you, and you have something in mind."

"I do, and I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll back out on me. Come on, I promise it's tame. Besides, you're the only one who'll do it with me. Please? I've been dying to try it."

The two brown-eyed shinobi stared at one-another, waiting to see who would back down first. Anko's smug smile crept across her face when she saw Tenzo waver. Just a few more seconds, and she'd break him. His lips pulled down in a grimace as he tried to hold out, but his head snapped up and he groaned in defeat. She gave a hoot of victory, shooting a fist into the air.

She stood up and offered him her hand. "You need to get changed."

"For what?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Nice try." She smirked as she picked up her own bag. "I'll be picking it out." Not bothering to ask, she rummaged through his dresser and closet, humming to herself as she sorted through his clothes.

Tenzo caught the pair of pants she threw to him, thumbing over the waistband of the jeans to look at the tag. Just as he thought. "These are Kakashi's." They were close enough in size that it wouldn't be a problem, but Tenzo preferred his pants a little more loose-fitting. He was intimately aware of how these jeans fit his senpai, and he wasn't sure he'd be comfortable leaving the house dressed in them.

"I know," Anko assured him. "That's why I picked them. I love you, but you dress like a shapeless sack of potatoes if no one stops you."

He scoffed, but he didn't have it in him to try to prove her wrong. He began to undress despite her presence. Any boundaries or propriety between them had been smashed to pieces with a hammer ages ago. Anko was shameless, and Tenzo gave in far to easily to peer pressure. The fabric was uncomfortably tight on his legs, which were more defined than his senpai's, and stuffing the legs of his boxers back down the jeans proved to be a bit of a challenge.

"I don't know about this," he complained after buttoning the pants. Everything Kakashi owned was slim-fit, and Tenzo's broader features looked strange under the fabric. "Why can't I just wear my jeans?"

"Because you refuse to buy anything that's actually your size. I'm going with you next time. This is ridiculous. You're not a large, Tenzo." Anko tutted as she slid hangers along the railing in his closet. Muttering to herself, she hypothesized, "If you have his pants, you probably have a shirt…" Victoriously, she withdrew a plain, grey tee-shirt which was marked as a medium. "Heads up."

Tenzo caught the garment in the air, glancing down at it before resigning himself to his fate. He reached over his shoulders and pulled his shirt over his head, exchanging it for the one he'd been given. It was a little tight across the chest and shoulders, but it wasn't awful.

He looked over at Anko, who, to his surprise, was bent over at the waist as she fastened the clasps of her bra behind her back. She straightened up, adjusting her breasts, and he couldn't stop himself from grimacing. "Oh, god, where are you taking me?" he asked in reluctance. If she was wearing a bra, he couldn't imagine what it was that she had in store for them. To his limited knowledge, he'd seen her wear one only on some particularly wild nights.

Anko laughed at his face as she pulled her shirt down over her head. It was a tee, much like his own, with the neck cut into a V. "I'm not saying. Don't worry about it. Just need 'em to stay put." She wished she had a camera; he looked like she'd killed a puppy. She gathered her hair and pinned it up, giving him a large smile that was meant to be reassuring.

Tenzo had a sinking feeling about the night she had planned. Before he could protest, she'd grabbed him by the hand and pulled him from the apartment, letting him go long enough to lock the door behind them.

Once they were several blocks away, she turned to him and moved his hand to cover his eyes. "Be a good sport, okay? Don't peek, just trust me." She took his hand once more and tugged him blindly along behind her.

He'd trust Anko with his life, although his general wellbeing was a completely different story. Nonetheless, he stumbled along, doing his best to keep pace with her without his vision to help him. He felt his body bump into passers-by, calling out apologies each and every time. Damn his integrity, which kept his hand clasped tightly over his eyes despite the inconvenience.

When he started to wonder if she was taking him anywhere at all, rather than just jerking him around the village, she stopped suddenly, causing Tenzo to crash into her due to the sudden lack of momentum. "Oof!"

He opened his eyes, gazing warily at the seedy establishment before them. She'd taken him to the very edge of the village, which accounted for the length of their journey. However, why she'd taken him to a strip club named 'The Booby Trap' was beyond him. She was smirking up at him, biting back the urge to laugh at his confusion.

"Really?" was the only word he could think to say. This made absolutely no sense to him; she was well aware of his sexual preference, and she was proudly pansexual. If she wanted to take him to a strip club, there was no reason they couldn't have gone to one that appealed to both their orientations. Or one that was a little classier, at that.

"Be polite," she urged him, towing him along by the hand as she entered through the front door.

Tenzo did his best to hide his grimace at the vibrancy of the colors that painted the interior of the club. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anko rise up onto her toes and give a wave to a scantily-clad, red-haired woman near the bar, who waved back in acknowledgement. Ah, so that's why they were here. Things were starting to make a little more sense.

The woman approached them, a smile on her lips as she greeted Anko by kissing her on one cheek, then the other. Anko beamed up at her before remembering why she was there. "Tenzo, this is…" she hesitated, realizing that the woman might not want him to know her real name.

"Crimson," the woman finished, providing her stage name to the stranger.

"She's a friend of mine," Anko finished, and Tenzo didn't press for further details. "Crimson, this is Tenzo, my friend I told you about."

"It's nice to meet you." The woman sounded genuine. Anko must have been talking about him. Well, that wasn't too much of a surprise, considering how close the two of them were.

"Likewise." He gave her a smile, but he had to wonder if she heard him. She had already turned back to Anko and started a conversation about several people he didn't know. Feeling awkward, he stood to the side and waited for them to finish.

Anko knew that Tenzo's patience was wearing thin, and that he couldn't keep quiet for much longer before he started demanding answers about why they were here. Giving him the information he wanted, she informed him, "Crimson offered to teach me the tricks of the trade if I came by on a slow night. I figured it'd be okay if I brought him along?" The question was directed at her companion.

"'Course," Crimson smiled softly at Tenzo. "But you don't have to if you don't want to. I know Anko can be a little strong. You just stick to your comfort zone, okay?"

Relieved to have someone in his corner, Tenzo sighed in relief. "Thank you. Somehow I think this requires more talent than I have." He grinned, trying to make himself seem more amicable. At least he knew why Anko had dressed him in Kakashi's clothes; he's have to tell him that their friend deemed his attire strip-club appropriate.

He followed along behind the two women, their arms laced together. He couldn't quite figure out what their relationship was, but he supposed it didn't matter. If she was anyone important, Anko would tell him eventually. The trio entered one of the back rooms, where Crimson flicked on the overhead lights, killing whatever sensual pretense hung in the decor.

In the light, the room was shockingly plain. The main feature was the pole in the middle of the room. Crimson smirked, warning them, "What I'm about to tell you is going to take all the magic out of it. You're never gonna look at a dance the same way. You okay with that?"

Anko and Tenzo both nodded. Crimson took the pole in one hand and, with a turn of her wrist, made it rotate. "The pole spins, not us."

"Bullshit!" Anko swore in disbelief. Not believing her, she gave it a spin of her own, brown eyes wide in disbelief. "Well fuck me. I'd've never thought of that."

"It makes sense if you think about it," Tenzo pointed out. "Now that I know, it's easy to see how that's the case. So, I guess it's all about core strength, then?"

"Bingo," Crimson praised her perceptive student. "Here, watch this." She performed an act of acrobatics, twisting herself into a suspended position. In a testament to her strength, she freed one of her hands and pat her stomach. "See? It's in the abs and legs." She regained her grip and contorted herself until she was standing once more. "Wanna give it a try?"

"Hell yeah!" Anko let Crimson guide her hands to the appropriate marks, following her instruction as she explained, step-by-step, how to mimic what she'd done. To her horror, she lost confidence when she felt her hand slip a fraction of an inch, and she clung on desperately with her hands and thighs, her eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched.

"You're okay," Crimson assured her, holding her hands out by Anko's shoulders. "I'm not gonna let you fall. Come on, feel my hand on your back? Fold back over, I've got you."

Anko exhaled in relief when she was back on her feet. Tenzo was wearing a smug expression that made her embarrassed blood boil. "Think it's easy? I'd like to see you try."

Never one to pass up an opportunity to wound Anko's pride in a friendly competition, Tenzo uncrossed his arms and stepped to her side, looking down at her. "You're on."

Anko bared her teeth in a smug grin, sure that he'd end up embarrassing himself far worse than she had. "Be my guest."

"Like this?" Tenzo asked over his shoulder, wanting his instructor to check the placement of his hands before he began. When she nodded, he followed through the steps she'd shown Anko. His hands were steady enough that he took one hand off the pole and pulled down his bottom eyelid, sticking his tongue out at Anko in a mocking gesture.

Crimson's hands hovered around him as he let himself down, poised to stop him if he fell. He landed on his feet and tugged the hem of his shirt back down over his stomach as he smirked at Anko. To rub it in, he extended one leg and took a sweeping bow. For his effort, she smacked him upside the head.

"Showoff," she scoffed.

"You're just jealous."

"Damned right I am!" she said as though it should have been obvious. "God. Why do you have to be gay?"

Tenzo laughed, waving his hand. "Sorry. It is what it is." This wasn't the first time she'd said something like that. It was flattering, so long as she didn't make a joke out of it. It was never at his expense, always her own, but still strange.

"I want to try again," she almost stomped her foot in determination. No one stopped her from her second attempt which went much better than the first. She kept herself suspended with relative ease, coming to the realization that concentrating her chakra made the task much easier. Being a shinobi certainly could have strange advantages.

After sharing her discovery, Anko and Tenzo progressed quickly, and the lesson became far more playful. They learned how to combine techniques and to transition seamlessly. Despite his inhibitions, Tenzo was having fun. Once again, Anko proved herself to be the best person to call when he needed to get out of his head for a while. It was scary how she seemed to know just what he needed, even if he didn't want to join at first. Who would've thought he'd enjoy himself this much? He'd never have done this on his own, or would have thought to suggest it to Anko.

Night fell, and the pair had to say goodbye to their instructor. It was time to get to work, after all. As they walked out the back door, Tenzo was laughing, a wide smile on his face. "That was great. You're crazy, you know that, right?"

"Crazy's not a bad thing," Anko shrugged with a smirk. "Besides, now you have a new skill to show off when Kakashi gets back." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, thoroughly enjoying the blush that crept up her friend's neck.

He shook his head in denial. "No, I really don't think so," he admitted sheepishly.

"Why not?" She tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I just… it was a lot of fun, but it was a lot of fun with _you_."

She blinked, realizing what he was trying to say. "Aww, you're still shy around him."

"Don't say it like that," he scolded.

"No, I think it's cute. You're still all Tenzo-kouhai with him. It's sweet." Her smile showed him her ulterior motive. "Besides, that just means that I get Tenzo the Stripper to myself."

He stammered in protest, trying his best to form a coherent word. Her laugh drowned him out. "Don't worry, I won't tell. Well, not if I'm sober. I'm telling you now that I can't be held responsible for anything I say after I've had a few."

That was the best he was likely to get from her. He gave a soft smile as he said, "Thanks for getting me out. I'm feeling a lot better."

Playfully, Anko gave her best friend a once-over before purring, "No, thank _you_." She yelped as she narrowly evaded a flick to her forehead, running ahead of him. "Can't get me!"


End file.
